Roundabout or Bust

carbird

 

First of all, why do they say “______ or Bust”? I’d rather not bust at all, thank you.

 

Tomorrow (8-7-18) I’m leaving out here from Florence, Alabama and moseying via auto to Davenport, Iowa to visit my cousins and other sundry relatives. I would LOVE to see my wonderful, talented and beautiful 94-year-old Aunt June, but she’s in Virginia helping another cousin of mine recover from surgery. She gets around more than I do.

 

I’ll stay at my wonderful VERY talented and handsome cousin Dana’s home – he’s newly married to the wonderful, talented and beautiful Mariann – while there. We’ve working on the rough draft of what will be a spectacular screenplay about a female Iraqi Army veteran who has fallen through the cracks in the system and lives homeless and mentally unstable on the street of L.A.. Dana will retire (FINALLY) from his job as a steelworker, and then will be able to focus his creative energies into making films. This has been a longtime dream of his. Mine has been to be a writer. I’m living the dream right now, but am not quite yet in the top 2% that enjoy paychecks over $5,000 a year. But that’s ok. I love to write and will do so whether I get rich or bust.

 

From Dana’s I’ll be meandering over to Elkhart, Indiana to visit with and participate in the wedding of my wonderful, talented and stunningly beautiful adopted babygirl Laney Doolittle. At first I was just going to walk her down the aisle, but now I might walk her down the aisle AND officiate the wedding! I’ve been a minister of the Universal Life Church since 1998, and a minister of the Church of the Latter-Day Dude since last year. She will be marrying the wonderful, talented and handsome Rob Thorne, and I couldn’t be happier! I love weddings! Wedding receptions have the best food, next to a Baptist picnic.

 

From Laney and Rob’s wedding I’ll saunter up to Kalamazoo, Michigan to visit and abide with my wonderful, talented and beautiful daughter Andy and her wonderful, talented and beautiful significant other Lex (they are both transgender, so I intend on being schooled by them when I get there – still can’t honestly wrap my head around calling my little girl a man), my wonderful, talented and manly handsome son James Little and his wonderful, talented and beautiful wife (I would know her name, but it’s Spanish, and I can’t speak Spanish, at least not until after I get there) and my wonderful, talented and fantastic grandkids Chance and Skylar.  I used to live in Kalamazoo for quite a few years, even drove a taxi there, so I can get around without getting too lost.

 

From Andy and Jame’s homes I will sashay to Hamilton, Ohio to spend a few days with my wonderful, talented and somewhat handsome Army buddy Bob Rommes. We’ve known each other over 30 years, which is almost long enough for any friendship (give or take another 30 years). The last time we met, he beat me at chess after and long, bloody fight. At least we didn’t knock over any chess pieces in the process. He went out and bought a new couch for me to sleep on while in his man-cave, which is awesome! I told him that since we’ve known each other for so long we could at least share the same bed, but he’s not that comfortable in his masculinity yet.

 

Then back home. I’ll be gone for about 3 weeks, and will have used up just enough of my hosts’ hospitality for another couple of years (give or take a couple of years).

 

I’m not good with photography, but will try to take a picture here or there and share with you.

 

If you live along any of these routes and have a spare pizza, I’d love to slow down so you can throw it at me. I’ve got just enough money for gas and will rely on fresh roadkill along the way. Armadillo is incredible, possum is usually pretty tough, and squirrels really do taste just like chicken.

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